


thaw depth

by littlereyofsunlight



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: F/M, Misunderstandings, people should really just learn to talk to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 15:53:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11016630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlereyofsunlight/pseuds/littlereyofsunlight
Summary: Idiotville, population: Steve Rogers.





	thaw depth

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Steggy Positivity Week 2017, Day 1: Agent Carter Timeline

Steve didn’t like airplanes so much these days. 

It probably had something to do with how he’d crash-landed one in a frozen wasteland once. So he wasn’t very keen on working through the fear. 

He’d still been asleep when he’d been flown back to New York from Greenland, so that had been fine. When summer had taken a turn into fall and Steve shivered just thinking about the winters he’d passed when he was younger, he’d jumped at the room and board Howard had offered him in Los Angeles. Steve borrowed one of his cars and drove cross-country rather than board Stark’s private plane. He’d been out west a few months now, and he was pretty sure he hated it. But winter wasn’t over yet.

Now here he was, on an airfield. He wasn’t even there to fly, but his palms were still sweating and he’d been having a hard time swallowing past the lump in his throat. Worst of all, Edwin kept clucking over him like some deranged mother hen. 

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather wait at home, sir?” he asked, giving Steve yet another worried once-over.

“I’m fine,” he said again through grit teeth. I’ve been through worse than this, he thought. Then again, Jarvis had been there to see part of the aftermath of that, so Steve felt he couldn’t blame him for his concern. Even if it was driving him nuts.

A small plane taxied up and men rushed over with the staircase, ready for the passengers to disembark. Steve straightened his spine and shoved his hands in his pockets, determined not to show the thoughts suddenly racing through his head. He focused on the propeller as it spun on the nose of the plane, pushing down the nausea that came rushing up with the memory of another prop whirling just under his feet, miles up in the air. 

And then she was there in front of him, and the rest fell away. 

Steve had yet to get over seeing her in civilian clothes. She always dressed impeccably, in a way that flattered her figure in the most distracting–but plausibly deniable–ways. Today, despite the transcontinental flight, was no different. If it was possible, the lump in his throat grew even bigger. It had been months since he’d seen her and Steve found her effect on him had not lessened with time apart.

“Mr. Jarvis, thank you for fetching me.” Peggy gave a warm smile as Stark’s butler reached for her bag. “Hello, Captain Rogers.” Her tone was decidedly cooler as she breezed past Steve. Perhaps the same could not be said for his effect on Peggy.

“Agent Carter,” he said, trying to sound only mildly pleasant as he opened her car door. His voice shook, though, so the effect was ruined. He snuck a quick peek up at her face, but she was inscrutable behind her sunglasses. He tried to think of something else to say, but his thoughts were drowned out by the roar of an engine as a plane taxied by. Steve flinched and quickly climbed into the back seat, slouching down against the leather upholstery. 

Peggy sat straight-backed in the front passenger seat, waiting patiently for Jarvis to load her bag into the trunk and settle into the car.

“How is Mrs. Jarvis these days, Mr. Jarvis?” she asked as he started up the engine and began to reverse out of their parking spot. Another plane went by and Steve closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deep.

“She’s very well indeed, Miss Carter, thank you for asking. She’s expecting you for dinner this evening.”

Steve could see Peggy freeze. She started to turn toward him, ever so slightly, but stopped herself. “Oh! Well, that is very kind of you, of course, Mr. Jarvis. But I might—that is—I’m afraid I must check in with Chief Sousa straight away. He’s expecting me at the office, and I can’t say how long i’ll be at work.” Right. Sousa. The guy Jarvis had said Peggy’d been sweet on back in New York. That’s why she was here, to see him. To help him with a case, Steve corrected himself.

Now they were on the highway, headed away from the airstrip. Steve unclenched his hands and tried to arrange his features in a bland expression when he saw Peggy glance at him in the rearview mirror. She’d taken off her sunglasses and her dark eyes were fathomless. There was nothing cold in her gaze, though; no reflection of the tone she’d taken with him earlier. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as he first thought.

Jarvis glanced up in the mirror at Steve, as well. “Of course, Miss Carter. I would be happy to drop you there, if you have the address.” He and Peggy passed the rest of the ride in pleasant conversation, while Steve mostly pretended not to be listening from the back. They didn’t discuss Peggy’s work with the SSR any further. 

Steve realized he’d really, really missed her voice. He wished she’d say his name.

* * *

Mr. Jarvis was still a bit tender from the punch he took earlier in the evening, so Mrs. Jarvis sent Steve to fetch Peggy from the Auerbach Agency late that night. He’d heard all about the excitement while Ana pressed a raw steak to Edwin’s jaw. Steve could read between the lines well enough to know that Peggy and Sousa had stumbled onto something far larger than a strange murder. 

As he waited in the car, he noticed a young woman standing across the street. She seemed to be waiting, too. Steve watched as she looked at her watch and then up at the windows on the third floor, the ones with the blinds drawn but the lights on behind them. He could just make out the shadows of two people up there. Steve drummed his fingers on the wheel and continued to watch the woman out of the corner of his eye. She didn’t seem like a threat, but that didn’t mean anything. 

A dark-haired man with a crutch crossed the street in front of the car and headed straight for her. Steve had never met the man, but he’d listened to enough of Jarvis and Howard’s stories to know that he was Daniel Sousa. Steve saw him lean down and give the blonde woman a quick kiss and a smile, and they left together. Steve’s heart skipped a beat. Sousa had a girl. Who wasn’t Peggy.

To hear Jarvis tell it, the only thing that had kept Peggy and Daniel apart in New York was the job. She wouldn’t open herself up to the criticism and ridicule of dating a colleague. But then Sousa had taken the chief job out west, and Peggy had realized too late her feelings for him were as strong as they were. Jarvis had told him that was right around the time Howard had located the Valkyrie, and Steve on it. Peggy had apparently welcomed the distraction, though by the time Steve was recovered enough to even contemplate making up that dance he owed her, he barely ever saw her. And certainly not alone. Besides, by then Edwin had told Steve all about her new life. She’d moved on. 

There was a movement in the window. Steve could just make her out, up there in the shadows. Peggy had seen the kiss. What he wouldn’t give to know what she was thinking in that moment. Had she known before now? Or had she come to L.A. hoping for something? 

In the window above, the light went out.

She hesitated when she saw who was behind the wheel. Steve sighed. Not that it should matter to him. He and Peggy were hardly even friends, anymore. He wasn’t sure how it had happened. Maybe they were just good at working together, but didn’t have a connection beyond that. He’d gone over their time together during the war so many times on his trip out here. It was clear he’d allowed himself, in the rush and drama of wartime, to read more into their interactions than was actually there. She’d kissed him, yes, but he’d been about to fling himself into the jaws of death. He had died. She never expected him to come back. 

Whatever they’d had then, she clearly wasn’t interested in rekindling it now. 

He started up the engine as she climbed into the passenger seat. “Thank you for driving. I’m sorry to make you come out so late.”

Steve focused his eyes on the road. “Not a problem. I don’t sleep too much, anyways.”

“You’re still having nightmares, then?” She gave him a sharp-eyed look. 

He blanched. “You know about those?”

“I’ve never met a soldier returning from war who didn’t have them, at least at first. Just because the war has been over two years now doesn’t mean you would be immune.” Peggy checked her vibrantly painted nails. “In my personal experience, the first year back is the worst. It should get better soon.”

This was too much information, but not quite enough. The question bubbled up from his throat before he could stop himself, words running together as he fumbled not to sound too accusatory. “Who did you, I mean were you—uh, how did—”

“Me, Steve. I’m speaking of my own nightmares.” 

The relief that flooded through him didn’t last as he took in her exasperated tone. It was their first conversation since he’d decided to leave New York and he was making such a mess of it. The first time she’d said his name since she arrived, and it was while she was mad at him. Didn’t that just figure.

It was late enough that traffic back to Stark’s home was minimal. Steve and Peggy didn’t speak until he’d turned into the drive. He’d been chewing over his latest mistake, trying to figure out the right thing to say to turn things around, but it had evaded him. Still, he had to try. Even if he couldn’t be eloquent about it.

“I’m sorry.”

She’d already reached for the handle to leave, but stopped at his admission. “Are you?”

He summoned his courage and looked her in the eye. “Yes.”

She held his gaze for what felt like forever. “All right.” She got out of the car. 

His shoulders sagged. It wasn’t much, but at least she hadn’t shot at him. He made to follow her, but something on her seat caught his eye. She’d dropped a business card for a Dr. Wilkes, physicist at Isodyne Energy. And Dr. Wilkes had dropped what looked like his personal number on the back. Steve’s stomach sank.

“You forgot something, Agent Carter.”

“Hmm?” She turned back to him and he handed over the card. She quickly looked down at it and back up at him a few times. “Oh. Erm, yes, thank you.”

Steve headed for the door.

“He’s a witness, Steve. He knew the victim.” 

“Okay,” he said over his shoulder. Why she felt the need to tell him that, he didn’t know. “Looks like he might be interested in knowing you, too. You sure do work fast.” His cheeks burned. He knew he shouldn’t let himself get worked up. Who she saw was none of his business. Though it rankled that she’d leapt right from one workplace entanglement to at least considering another. Or else why hadn’t she left the guy’s card at the office?

“Steve Rogers.” Peggy’s voice rang out imperiously. On impulse, Steve ducked. “I won’t have you speaking to me that way.”

He gulped and turned to face her. Peggy’s eyes blazed but her tone was ice cold.

“Don’t you dare insult my professionalism, Rogers. You know what I went through in the service, and you can’t imagine the hell it’s been since coming back. I would have hoped that you, of all people, would have a modicum of understanding and compassion for the position I’m in.” She took a breath and the shift of the detailed neckline of her red dress drew Steve’s focus to the way her chest heaved. He at least had the decency to feel chagrined when he realized just where he was looking. Peggy continued, “You convinced me once that you weren’t like all the rest, but I seem to have been mistaken. I thought, even if you didn’t want me anymore, you would at least treat me with decency and respect, but—”

“What?” Now his full attention was on her words. “Peggy, I don’t _what_?” He took a cautious, hopeful step back towards her. 

His interrogative brought her up short. She cast about for a moment, looking as unsettled as he’d ever seen him. Then she took another breath and he could see her gather her dignity about herself once more. “It’s all right, Steve. We made no promises to each other, not really. I’m not holding you to account for anything that went unsaid between us. It was a different time.” 

“Peggy,” he found his voice was suddenly hoarse, “I have always wanted to be with you. I never stopped.” 

She shook her head. “But you never said—after you were back, you didn’t _say_ anything.”

Steve ran a hand through his hair. If he’d thought he’d made a mess earlier… “Well, I was in a plane crash, and then I was a block of ice for a while. And then I woke up and the whole world had moved on.” He gave her a small, rueful smile. “Jarvis told me you’d moved on. I guess I was too scared to ask you if it was true.”

Peggy rolled her eyes, but took a step towards him. “I kept waiting for you to ask after the dance I’d been saving for you.”

“We were never alone. And you had so much work on your plate.” He took another step of his own.

“Yes, well, I was after a very dangerous fugitive!” Her words had none of their former bite, and she looked up into his face with a soft, open expression he never thought he’d see from her again. “I thought we could simply continue on as before, when you had your mission and I had mine. But then you left.”

“I’m sorry.” He reached out a hand, and she took it. “I couldn’t face the cold.” He reeled her in. “Not without you.”

Peggy twined her arms around his neck. “You idiot,” she said, tears in her eyes, “you wouldn’t have had to if you’d just _said something_.”

Steve smiled down at her. “Okay. In that case, Agent Carter, may I have this dance?”

“Sod the dance,” Peggy surged onto her toes and kissed him, hard.


End file.
